Working Towards Balance by Mal O’Brien

Any person, pro athlete or not, goes through ups and downs when it comes to their mental health. A lot of you know that I took a step away from CrossFit to focus on my own. It’s a forever work in progress, but these are the strategies that have helped me the most this past year.  

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Part of being a professional athlete is following a very rigorous training schedule that doesn’t allow for much variety or experimentation. This year, I have tried new exercise classes and sports that sound interesting to me. Catch me on the pickleball court, bodyboarding, and running outside. I have really enjoyed trying group fitness classes that have nothing to do with CrossFit, such as Barre and spin.

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I am learning to listen to what I want to try, what I really crave, without judgment. But this hasn’t been easy. After 8 years of training for performance and to achieve big goals, shifting to working out for my health has been challenging but rewarding. I am still learning and know that will never end.
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Part of exercising for wellness is learning to prioritize taking care of my body. I always have a plan for fitness the next day (I’m just that kind of person), but if I wake up and my body isn’t feeling it, I adjust my plan and spend a little extra time on recovery. For me, recovery includes mobility using GOWOD Daily protocols, sauna and ice baths, and most recently, guided breathwork. Of course, I did many of these things while deep in CrossFit Games training, but the difference now is that I focus on the benefits and allowing my body the time it needs rather than just checking a box at the end of a long training day.

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For most of my career, I believed that more was better. Logically, I knew I needed rest days, but they caused me a lot of stress. Looking back from where I am now, I can see that having hobbies outside of the sport would have made things easier. I have come to love baking and cooking, and not just on rest days. It’s worth mentioning that baking is a lot more fun when you allow yourself to try what you make :) Spending time doing the hobbies you enjoy can be a practice in mindfulness, too. When I am baking or cooking, I am in the moment and I find that it grounds me when I need that most.

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For years, training consumed all of my time and mental energy – being a full-time athlete made connecting with people my own age or outside of the sport difficult. I was homeschooled for most of high school and missed out on a lot of teenage milestones, like school dances, attending school sports games, and, you know, normal teenage stuff! What’s different now is that I have the time and openness to meet new people and build my relationships. This is something that can be done while training, but is not a skill I had at the time. Spending time with friends and family this past year has been incredibly healing and fun. For example, something that I do now that I never would have done before is spend the day cruising around Kaua’i (one of the main islands of the Hawaiian archipelago - Ed. Note) with friends and trying new foods. I highly recommend you do this in your life, too!

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Choosing where to spend my time has been part of my healing process this year. Vermont is a place that I associate with training and there is nothing wrong with that. I moved back to Iowa to rebuild my relationship with home and pour into the relationships that had to be on the back burner while I was training. I moved to Kaua’i in January for a change of scene, and because it is a welcoming place for me to heal and become the next version of myself. A lot of people my age are away at college, seeing new places and figuring out what they want to do. This is my version of that!

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This whole chapter has been about growing my awareness about what my mind needs, what my body needs, and what my heart needs. I am working on opening up about and accepting my struggles. This is something easier said than done, but is an important part of figuring out what is next for me. There is so much that can be said about this, but I know that I am not alone in this – everybody is working on something.

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All of this takes time. I have learned to push back every time I think, “if I do this, then everything will be better.” One thing I know for sure is that the sun always rises tomorrow.

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